define('DISABLE_WP_CRON', 'true'); To be honest or not to be? - Pagi Hari di Durham

To be honest or not to be?

This is my conflict of the hour. To make it clear, it is not a relationship related topic.

Honesty can be a cultural concept. Seriously. If you are in Japan, and you are being too honest about everything – of how awful the cloth of the person you talk to, or how uncool it is for him/her to do something; you’ll be in big trouble. That is the east of the East. West is different. You gotta tell what you want otherwise you won’t get it. My classic story of ‘trying to be polite’ and answering ‘no’ for a drink offer had taught me that I had to speak up if I want something, otherwise I would be thirsty, at least for that case.

So here’s my so-called conflict. I’ve been put in charge to do something which is very good. And I’m not being sarcastic here. But I’m kinda don’t wanna do it. Reason? Hm.. that’s where I have the conflict. How do I tell that I just don’t want to be involved because I’m lazy?

Should I be honest or not to be?

I have friends and I used to be honest. My high school friends, Muzaini, Anuar, Khairul, Mahadi etc used to come to my house all the time. And when I’m tired of having them around, I did tell them straight to their face to go home because I just wanna be alone. First, they are seriously good friends for still being friends with me. I would recommend them to anyone for date and friends because of that matter (except Khairul coz he got someone, oops, Dr Khairul. Anuar already has wife and a son). Second, that’s why I kinda find it irony for people saying that I’ve changed after coming back from UK coz I was basically like that even when I was back in Malaysia. Third, I found it amusing when people over-respect me coz honestly, I did those stuff. Call me average, I feel better.

Anyway, they are friends. It is easy to tell them an honest reason. They don’t have to tell me sugarcoating reason either. I asked my friend for a trip to Japan. He’s not into it, so he told me. He doesn’t have to give excuses of he wanna do saving, or he will be busy with study and stuff.

Friends are in different league. Being honest seems like a good idea.

What about not-so-close people. Now I have a choice of sugarcoating something which might eventually means a lie or just give some obnoxious reason but the truth. I did once (or perhaps many, but now I can think of one), and it kinda weird when someone suddenly ‘sentap’ because of it.

A very respectful person (and again, I’m not being sarcastic. He is) asked me of why didn’t I join doing this good thing. Well, over the time these are the reasons I’ve heard which is valid and sounds fine.

1. Not having time because of jam-packed class.
2. Not having transportation as the public transportation networking is bad (either you are in rural areas or in Durham)
3. Having other commitments which you can’t get out of it.
4. Doing final year project or research which requires undivided attention and bad timing. (Reminds me of my debate/bio friends – Kak Bibah who has to go to lab at midnight because her bacteria is calling her. She was doing microb)
5. Having illness which suppress your activity.

But no.. I didn’t pick one of those. Instead I told this respectful guy, ‘I was lazy…’. He was ‘sentap’. He deserved to respond that way for my honesty. I’m feeling good and bad at the same time. I feel bad for making him ‘sentap’. I feel good for not lying. I was…

1. having a lot of free time which is why I always there for debate training – my first year until the end, a short period of unfinished Masters in USM, and even when I was doing the tutoring.
2. not having transportation issue. I got motorcycle back then.
3. having a commitment and that is to go home during weekend (or once every 2 week). My debate friends know that. But well…
4. having a final year project but I am in no way being in the same shoes as Kak Bibah. I am doing my lab (Matlab) at midnight because I choose to.
5. Alhamdulillah, I had no sickness which avoid me living my life.

All of those explanation. Now I wonder.

What should I say for this non-wanted position I am given now?

Should I say ‘I’m busy with my work, because now I’m really starting my research extensively. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping and been a little bit depressed. I was just finished going through 1st year presentation and now working on a project for a conference’. I am not lying for that. But I should continue saying ‘oh yeah, by the way, I haven’t been missing any of the latest season of Amazing Race and The Apprentice. And so not Heroes. I even watch Paris Hilton’s My British Best Friend but I’m kinda ashamed to admit that.’

Or should I give a simple gonna-be-sentap statement of ‘I’m lazy and not in the mood of socializing’ and put an end of it.

To be honest, or not to be?


12 Responses to “To be honest or not to be?”

  1. Yla says:

    cool…i love this post…ngeeeeeeee…(“,)

  2. alien mulut besar says:

    Just be honest. Honesty is the best policy kan? IMHO, you wont send any negative vibe or aura by saying u r lazy and malas nak socialize. Alah, orang itu sentap2 manja tu..takpa. Sebab akak rasa hang jawab dengan penuh kesantunan compared to me. I’m having a tough time to be honest sebab org kompom akan sentap with my unintentionally harsh tone and my very big eyes. Sometimes akak tak respond pon orang dah sentap..see? keke
    Just say no and smile. Ppl will sentap, no doubt bout that but at the end they will understand us better and we will feel great.
    Akak selalu jawab ginih ‘Aci tak kalau taknak buat?’ =)

  3. ayam yg suka menyamar menjadi alien says:

    Sentap manja, alien mulut besar? Aku pun rasa camtu gak..
    Weh, cakap pasal kak bibah gi lab sebab bacteria dia memanggil2 aku pun teringat gak masa aku wat final yr project dulu, buat sampling kat lab every 6 hours untuk tempoh 36 jam (tu just for one bacterium. I had to do the sampling for few bacteria) Jadi banyak kali gak la aku mengalami 36 jam yang sengsara. Time kul 12 tgh malam dan 6 pagi punya sampling tu yg perit giler…. tu yg buat aku terus jadi phobia ngan microbes tu.. hehe!

  4. Lutfi Amri says:

    Akak, ‘Aci tak kalau taknak buat?’ tuh ada sikit gaya-gaya manja. So can’t do that:D

    Naz. Haha, I forgot that u r microb guy as well:D

  5. WanYgBest says:

    lagi bagus honest dari hipokrit. buat baik sbb tepaksa pun x dapat pahala kan? k.wan pun penah in your situation, k.wan jwb..”saya belum ade keiklasan dlm diri, nnti dah ade, saya join…doakan saya yer…*smbil meneruskan perjuangan mononton & menyokong david cook dlm AI siri 7*

  6. alien mulut besar says:

    Naz, sib baik akak bukan budak mikrob =p
    Am, tryla carik jawapan yg tak manja..kehkehkeh
    Woohoo Wan! U rock!kehkehkeh

  7. ayam yg suka menyamar menjadi alien says:

    Akak alien mulut besar, mmg akak sungguh bernasib baik
    X perlu bermain-main ngan bakteria yang langsung tak peramah dan tak mesra

  8. WaReMoN says:

    Oh..aku direct ja kata “x kot”. No reasons needed, especially kalau org tu kurg rapat or total stranger. Tak perlu peduli pun apa diorg fikir, sbb x significant pun..wahahaha~ XD

  9. WaReMoN says:

    Oh, satu lagi..kalau ang cari alasan, biasanya diorg pandai turn-around atau bagi quick solution..dan akhirnya ang terpaksa mengalah..oleh itu, ckp direct je..

  10. Emmy Hermina says:

    am, i agree that we can be honest with out close friends cos they know us. but itd diff aite when it comes to these people who we are not so close with, yang so-so ~sigh, i guess thats y i tak ramai close friends kot. i just lepak dgn those yg i nak. but true what uve said. cant be avoided. the best we can do is give reasons yang almost true and yg tak terkantoi punyer!!

  11. lilgreenleafy says:

    I think every straight to the point honest person will encounter this from time to time
    and which trouble them from time to time.

    when i was in a college before
    i have this super OCD math teacher who is so strict that
    even if you are a minute late
    he will let you in
    only to see you heart-wrenchingly and manicly mutter your excuses
    mock your reason
    blame/ put fault on you for all of it (like if your pet died and you are devastated,crying your hearts out under the duvet, can’t sleep, panda eye wake up late,then its your fault still for being late to class because you cant control your emotion<– his faulting skill level T_T)
    and send you away.
    (when you can actually sleep your teen years away rather than coming to his class)
    I, a normal human being, know statiscally that i am bound to have to go through this at least once in my college year.
    So when the time finally came,
    I said, I am sorry K** i am late.
    I skip the excuse part,
    Sit down and do my tutorial.
    all end well.

    the moral of the story is
    when you make a stand/decision
    you are not obliged to give reasons for your stand
    make the stand itself the reason.

    “saya tak mahu”. “kenapa tak mahu?”. “sebab saya tak mahu”. if they still insist add “sebab saya rase tak mahu”. (Important:used polite tone)
    it has work wonder for me.
    giving excuses will haunt you for life.
    so things will never go in circle
    sorry for the long rant m(-_-)m

    ps. I secretly love paris hilton british best friend too!!!

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