Just to start my Thursday morning (it’s 5.59 am now)

I
Caught in between two worlds.
Separated by miles apart
in a sleepless journey.

II
Come on mate.
Just because you know it will hurt to say goodbye later,
it doesn’t mean that you should run from it immediately.
How about cherish every moment you have,
and when time come for you to go separate ways,
say goodbye and be happy to see each other again.
You deserve it for yourself,
and they deserve it as well.

III
Maybe two is better than one. And I did say ‘maybe’.

IV
Yes, something is better left unspoken.
But I never know how long my time left.
And I am curious.

V
Sorry for giving such an impact.
But the decision had been made.
If there’s a future being twisted,
and the dreams will come true,
we’ll live it.
At the moment,
I’ll ponder over this sea,
and you don’t have to miss me.

VI
I am rebellious.
You know that.
Saying ‘no’ makes me wanting to..
wanting to..
cry.

VII
We had already sails our separate way.
You had already destroyed the good thing we had built.
Now I just want to put a good ending,
coz I still care about our kids,
and they do deserve it.

VIII
What if it is a repeated history?
Built up with love,
but ended up with us being not ready.
If it is good for the time being,
I’ll take the chance,
and if the time repeats itself,
I’ll be ready.

IX
I look upon your faces
And I heard your dreams and wishes.
I will try to make it come true,
but this is the thing I’m doing it for me,
and please love me still,
for those dreams of yours are delayed.

X
Let it be a new beginning,
and I’ll look over pictures of you to give me the strength,
to go through.

It’s a typical day of a typical life.
Where life revolves around me and I’m living for myself.
I’m the protagonist of my own drama
and you might be regular or just recurring.
But in a typical day of a pure heart.
Where life is about everyone and not for himself.
Or herself.
Each one is an ensemble
to a bigger arch.

Ku ingin berjalan di kala bulan purnama
Merentasi tiang-tiang cahaya
Mendakap dada dengan kedinginan suasana
Berhenti di tengah lapang
Dan duduk memeluk lutut
Mencari bintang-bintang
Yang terlindung dek cahaya kota

Ku ingin berdiri di puncak dunia
Melihat laluan cahaya
Bingit di kala senja
Lengang pabila malam tiba
Duduk di atas batu
Biar angin membawa berita

Ku ingin duduk di kala pahlawan bertempur
Sambil tangan memegang tinta
Bangun sekejap untuk berkata
Kembali duduk lalu ketawa
Melihat emosi berpadu suara
Hati ini terasa ceria

Ku ingin mendengar lagu irama
Sambil tersenyum ku ikut serta
Kaki memijak, tangan kemudi
Mata melihat kebesaran Illahi
Panas terik yang aku rindu
Mereka yang ramai ingin kutemu

Ku ingin berayun di atas buaian
Letakkan kepala di atas riba
Nasihat diberi juga cerita
Sebak hati biar dipendam
Usah ada apa di mata
Tunggu sahaja berlabuh malam

Jawapan:

(Takde soalan pun bleh ada jawapan ek)
I : Lepak kat tengah padang kawad USM
II: Lepak kat Bukit HEP USM
III: Lepak kat Bilik Mesyuarat Aman, tengok bebudak debat
IV: Drive kereta ke Labu Besar
V: Lepak atas buaian depan rumah

P.S: Nih menyerap aura orang lain nih (jeling orang-orang berkenaan). Tetiba tersentimental plak.

Some friends start worrying of what I wrote in Heart. Aku baca balik. Hm.. kinda amazing. I was impressed with my own post (that’s lame!).

Those are the things that keep interchanging that redefined the state of mind

Ayat yang aku taip dalam Heart. Uh, camner aku bleh terfikir untuk keluar ayat agak berbunga cam nih? Aku pun tak tau. Kadang-kadang menulis ni ader pengaruh yang pelik. Kalau waktu tertekan, tension, tak berapa gembira, waktu tu la idea keluar menyimbah-nyimbah. Waktu tu sangat enjoy menulis. Macam tengah high pun ada bila menulis. Sebab lepas abis tulis dan baca balik, aku kengkadang terfikir – aku taip benda nih ke sebelum nih? Kalau mood tengah baik, pemilihan perkataan pun hampeh. Idea menyimbah? Ouch. I know that ‘simbah’ is not the right word.

Writing is always my passion. Dulu kalau waktu sekolah rendah, aku kena isi cita-cita dalam buku laporan tahunan. Aku masih ingat lagi, dalam buku laporan, yang tak pernah miss ialah guru. Waktu Darjah 1, aku pernah tulis ‘polis’. Polis? Ahaks. Tak sangka aku pernah ada motivasi sedemikian rupa.

Tapi orang pernah tanya waktu kecik dalam Darjah 4, nak jadi apa? Aku pernah cakap, nak jadi penulis. Sebab aku minat giler kat buku Enid Blyton. Darjah 4, aku pernah menulis satu cerita. Macam cerita penyiasatan sebab terpengaruh dengan 5 Sekawan, 7 Penyiasat etc. Tebal gak la. Tapi sayangnya hilang.

Lepas tuh aku dah mula hilang minat untuk menulis. Sekarang nih, nak tulis satu cerpen pun susah. Disebabkan gaya penulisan aku dah tak proper, penuh campur aduk bahasa pasar dan rojak. Hmm..

But let me dare myself to write some short story. Dan aku buka pada sesapa yang terasa nak melihat camner aku tulis cerpen, bagi satu situasi atau tema atau persoalan. Aku cuba tulis based on that. In proper writing. I dunno whether I can still write, but let’s see..

[So leave the comment down here and I try to write based on ur thoughts of theme, issues etc]

As I walk towards the sunset

Leaving all the memories behind me

Turning everything to something I call experience

And facing every single new days

Living the dreams I long had

Wishing it will come true someday

Hoping it will be easy each days

And wonder how many surprises are waiting

To shock me with twist and turns

And pull me down from where I am

Dragging around to the bottom of the lowest

Slowly eating me up.

Life is kinda overrated

Expectations sometimes kill me

Perceptions deceive everybody.

I have sail again to this land

Learning of life and love

Running on the horizon that will never end

Trying to reach the stars

I may fall each time I try

But I always know there are people who will catch me.

It is a mix up between want it and avoid it

Acceptance and rejection

Being silent or loud.

It is just me.

My ship had landed

And life has already started writing its own history.

2.47am, 6th of May