Archive for the ‘English Post’ Category

In my definition of friendship…


2009
10.24

Friendship is a tricky business. Nah, it is not a business anyway. But if you are doing a business with a friend, then it’s gonna be different. At least that is how I see it.

I told a friend of mine, ‘if I know it was her who is also my friend, I would be more flexible’. Nah, I am not referring to some bureaucracy which I’m giving him/her a free pass. Or giving him/her a special treatment because he/she is my friend while everyone is entitled to the same kind of treatment. I love to think that I am not that kind of person who give certain favour to people they like. At least, I’m wishing for it. Can’t be certain of myself.

Some people call it karma. I don’t like to use that term. I checked Wikipedia and even it says that the the concept is contradistinction from the Abrahamic religion. Let’s just say when you do good deed, you’ll be rewarded. And for someone that it close to your heart after your family, friends are among the people I am fond of. So what’s so bad about giving up few Pounds (or Ringgit) to someone who are close to my heart.

Because sometimes they will be giving you something more than that. Like cooking for me when I was sick, or making teh tarik when I was feeling spoilt (read: manja dan mengada-ngada). Or laughing over Britannia High or Glee. Or listening to my sorrow and joy. Or simply by giving me a company.

I just think that friends should be appreciated. That is why most of the people are not our friends. Because we do business with them. We exchange money with services. Or doing work together because both of us shares the responsibilities. Or help someone because they really need helps badly. That is what I think. At least that is how I see on the rest of the people I am not fond of. Getting paid of doing tutoring because I am not your friend, but I need the money. Need was not the right word. Perhaps ‘want’?; Or perhaps doing something together because that is my assignment. Or helping someone in need because I got something extra. It is still a business. Coz by doing good deed, I am hoping to get paid, but not from him.

The deal with friends are different. I do wanna do it because I am fond of you. Because that’s how I appreciate you. Since you had been appreciating me as well. In a lot of way. For example, knowing and understanding whenever I say I don’t wanna talk, or I need to stop this YMing just because I’m hungry and I want to grab some food. Or understanding me for not calling you for a couple of days because I’m juggling back with my life after getting sick, or not calling you for a couple of week because we are oceans aparts orĀ  not calling you for a couple of months because I’m just lazy. That is what friends do. We know we care of each other. But we don’t have all the time in the world.

Nah, I’m not a very good friend. All of the saying doesn’t make me better than most people. I am just wishing I would be.

Defining who my friends are and who are not is just another sign that I am …not to say bad, but normal. Be a man, and treat everyone the same. But if you have someone who you love, would you treat her/him differently? I have a list of people who I adore, respect and fond of them. I am just being human for treating them differently.

So yeah. If I know it was you who is also my friend, I would react differently. But the boat is sailing and in all of the fairness, the deal has been made. Pity. Next time. Next time.

But yeah, friendship is a tricky business. And once you treat it like a business deal, I’m done with the friendship and let’s do business. For real!

[Soundtrack of the post: Glee - Keep Holding On. P.S: Zeah, you need to see this. I bet you gonna bit teary. Keke. Yang nih versi fan made. Versi asal lebih best sebab recapture the whole moment. Tapi blehlah. ]

To be honest or not to be?


2009
03.23

This is my conflict of the hour. To make it clear, it is not a relationship related topic.

Honesty can be a cultural concept. Seriously. If you are in Japan, and you are being too honest about everything – of how awful the cloth of the person you talk to, or how uncool it is for him/her to do something; you’ll be in big trouble. That is the east of the East. West is different. You gotta tell what you want otherwise you won’t get it. My classic story of ‘trying to be polite’ and answering ‘no’ for a drink offer had taught me that I had to speak up if I want something, otherwise I would be thirsty, at least for that case.

So here’s my so-called conflict. I’ve been put in charge to do something which is very good. And I’m not being sarcastic here. But I’m kinda don’t wanna do it. Reason? Hm.. that’s where I have the conflict. How do I tell that I just don’t want to be involved because I’m lazy?

Should I be honest or not to be?

I have friends and I used to be honest. My high school friends, Muzaini, Anuar, Khairul, Mahadi etc used to come to my house all the time. And when I’m tired of having them around, I did tell them straight to their face to go home because I just wanna be alone. First, they are seriously good friends for still being friends with me. I would recommend them to anyone for date and friends because of that matter (except Khairul coz he got someone, oops, Dr Khairul. Anuar already has wife and a son). Second, that’s why I kinda find it irony for people saying that I’ve changed after coming back from UK coz I was basically like that even when I was back in Malaysia. Third, I found it amusing when people over-respect me coz honestly, I did those stuff. Call me average, I feel better.

Anyway, they are friends. It is easy to tell them an honest reason. They don’t have to tell me sugarcoating reason either. I asked my friend for a trip to Japan. He’s not into it, so he told me. He doesn’t have to give excuses of he wanna do saving, or he will be busy with study and stuff.

Friends are in different league. Being honest seems like a good idea.

What about not-so-close people. Now I have a choice of sugarcoating something which might eventually means a lie or just give some obnoxious reason but the truth. I did once (or perhaps many, but now I can think of one), and it kinda weird when someone suddenly ’sentap’ because of it.

A very respectful person (and again, I’m not being sarcastic. He is) asked me of why didn’t I join doing this good thing. Well, over the time these are the reasons I’ve heard which is valid and sounds fine.

1. Not having time because of jam-packed class.
2. Not having transportation as the public transportation networking is bad (either you are in rural areas or in Durham)
3. Having other commitments which you can’t get out of it.
4. Doing final year project or research which requires undivided attention and bad timing. (Reminds me of my debate/bio friends – Kak Bibah who has to go to lab at midnight because her bacteria is calling her. She was doing microb)
5. Having illness which suppress your activity.

But no.. I didn’t pick one of those. Instead I told this respectful guy, ‘I was lazy…’. He was ’sentap’. He deserved to respond that way for my honesty. I’m feeling good and bad at the same time. I feel bad for making him ’sentap’. I feel good for not lying. I was…

1. having a lot of free time which is why I always there for debate training – my first year until the end, a short period of unfinished Masters in USM, and even when I was doing the tutoring.
2. not having transportation issue. I got motorcycle back then.
3. having a commitment and that is to go home during weekend (or once every 2 week). My debate friends know that. But well…
4. having a final year project but I am in no way being in the same shoes as Kak Bibah. I am doing my lab (Matlab) at midnight because I choose to.
5. Alhamdulillah, I had no sickness which avoid me living my life.

All of those explanation. Now I wonder.

What should I say for this non-wanted position I am given now?

Should I say ‘I’m busy with my work, because now I’m really starting my research extensively. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping and been a little bit depressed. I was just finished going through 1st year presentation and now working on a project for a conference’. I am not lying for that. But I should continue saying ‘oh yeah, by the way, I haven’t been missing any of the latest season of Amazing Race and The Apprentice. And so not Heroes. I even watch Paris Hilton’s My British Best Friend but I’m kinda ashamed to admit that.’

Or should I give a simple gonna-be-sentap statement of ‘I’m lazy and not in the mood of socializing’ and put an end of it.

To be honest, or not to be?

Hm…

Bleeding Love


2009
02.09

Sebenarnya I’m Yours versi Bahasa Melayu dah siap dirakam. I don’t have much confident in my voice that much. Well.. Zeah says that she’s my biggest fan, and keep giving me good comments. But well..

I’m sure Kak Khalid is on the opposing team. She will goes like ‘humh’, not hating, just doing some ‘keji’ing sound of my singing. Well, I’m not a damn good singer, but I guess, I get some positive feedback from some people.

Suddenly I remember Jesse Mccartney’s Bleeding Love.

Yeah, he actually write the song and give it to Leona Lewis. And yah ha Leona sings it better. But if you click on the Youtube vids and read the comments, you can read people leave comments like ‘Jesse Mccartney’s version is much better than Leona’s’, which I laugh a bit. Different of opinion. Or perhaps Kak Khalid has a better idea of ‘keji’ing me.

Anyhow, Zeah asked me whether I’m gonna make video clip for I’m Yours Malay Version. I said nope. But somehow I already started making it. So, people who are contributing for the now closed Open Project, and other who might be interested in see the outcome, you guys have to wait few more days because I’m doing my slideshow for viva for this Friday, and keep editing the video during break time. Well, so called break time..

So, stay tuned.

Plus: Aku baru jer beli tiket Durham ke Dundee naik train pergi balik sebanyak 14.50 pounds. Pergi bulan Mac, 8 hb. Harga yang kira murah la sebab Durham ke Dundee kalau naik bas 4 jam (5 jam sebab berhenti kat Edinburgh). Nice, lepaking in Dundee again:)

Tak Kebah


2008
12.10

Still not feeling well. Demam nih naik turun naik turun. Bangun tadi rasa macam tak sedap sangat badan. Pastu rasa okey. Sekarang rasa tak sedap balik. Kalau orang Kedah cakap, demam tak kebah.

I took medication. Tidur? Semalam tido pukul 12. Bangun kul 8 untuk Subuh (matahari terbit kul 8.18 sekarang nih) pastu tido balik sampai kul 12. Dah terlebih tido kot.

I cooked fried rice just now. Cadang nak guna cabai yang aku blend ari tu. Tapi apsal ntah ada putih-putih cam kulat jer. Aiseh. Nasib baik ada perencah nasi goreng yang entah zaman bila aku bawak. The thing is – aku tak berapa suka guna perencah segera nih untuk nasi goreng. Sebab rasa MSG dia kuat sangat, atau aku tak pandai bajet berapa banyak nasik nak dibubuh untuk satu peket tuh – maybe that’s a better reason.

Whoa, lagi 2 minggu balik Malaysia. In other word, I have to finish my work in 2 weeks time as well. Berusaha!

[Soundtrack of the Day: Westlife - Heal]

Proud


2008
11.13

Now, Britannia High is on the list of tv show I have to download. Hm.. it’s a musical – people said that it is a rip-off of HSM, but I don’t care. Some songs are good. The plot is okay, the dance move is kinda cheesy. I wasn’t entertained much by the second episode. But the third episode was very good.

I show it to Zeah last nite.

I love this particular song – Proud, sung by that kid to his father who was a businessman and didn’t allow his kid to do performing arts in Britannia High.

Zeah said, ‘then, his father watches the performance and changes his mind?’

‘No, he didn’t’.

Anyway….

Zeah, five six seven eight…

High School Musical : Senior Year


2008
10.22

Yeay, the movie had finally arrived in cinema. And perhaps we are luckier in UK because we managed to watch it among the first in the world (excluding the red carpet premiere, I’m just ordinary person, remember). Even US start airing it on 24th.hsm_3_poster

So how was it? When Zeah asked Yusran over for the movie, I prefer for him not to go coz I know he’s not musical type of person. So basically, the movie is bad for people who are not into musical stuff. If you think that Sound of Music is already over the top, so don’t watch this HSM 3, it is totally not worth your time.

But if you can get along with musical stuff, this movie is good. Coreography wise is nice. Although I kinda hate of too much singing on the stage. But still, I hate too much singing on the golf course like they did in the second movie because I keep thinking that it looks like Teletubbies. But overall, this movie is worth a wait and quite a blast.

I had fun with most of the songs, the storylines, the jokes and whatever awaiting in the future.

Nice. Now I’m gonna put the soundtrack as the list for my study songs:)

Imperfection


2008
09.12

is there such word?
Not sure.
Im on the bus now and suddenly feel like blogging.

Dont you just love the concept of – human is not perfect. Im not talking about doing good and bad deeds at the same time.

Like me who can be cool about lending my stuff but so ill temper when someone disturb me eating while watching tv on laptop.

Like my friend who is so friendly that everyone always like him, but scary when he is moody.

Or my other friend who is so damn strict with her time and work stuff that she warns others for not doing it right but is actually soft inside and fragile.

Or my other friend who appears to be boring as he doesnt speak or jokes much but he is kind of person who would never hurt his future wife by cheating or flirting around.

Or my friend who appears to be so perfect in front of everyone but is struggling with lot of self conflict.

Dont you just like the concept of imperfection?

Oh, nak sampai dah rumah.

Red light district


2008
08.16

I’ve just feeling tired today. Probably because I had to go to Sunderland Hospital for my dental appointment. Gonna have my wisdom tooth removed in 8-11 weeks. It had gone bad – perhaps infected from the bad tooth close to it before, or probably because the way it came out.

Anyway, Sunderland from Durham is nearly one hour by bus. Coming back and forth, and meeting my supervisor at 3, not having lunch – I was so damn exhausted. Thanks God that Mom cooked my favourite spicy prawn – that recovered me while watching Friends on TV.

Last nite mom and dad were giggling about our experience in Amsterdam. Before departing, Andros asked me to tell him if I’ve ever gonna cross by a place call Red Light District. It’s a place where the prostitutes are finding their customer. But in a lil bit different way – they are all stay in behind the mirror advertising themselves. Well, that is what I heard.
Of course that is the place I don’t want to bring my parents to. It is just doesn’t fit – that’s pretty obvious, I should say.

So, when Kak Nur told me that she’s planning to go there when we arrive, that is the moment I asked them to just walk first and leave me and my parents behind. Ah yeah, that’s why the whole drama in the previous post happened (Andros, if you are reading this, I tell you about it later eh). But still it is for two different reasons – first, I don’t want the rest of the group to feel obliged to walk slowly just because my parents had to; second, coz they want to go to red-light so..

But the irony is, I got lost and while the rest of the group head to the flee market, I ended up bringing my parents to the red light district where lot of sex shops lie over there- selling dvd and things I don’t wanna tell in my blog. Hey, I thought when you say it is place for prostitution, it is supposed to be dark and kinda evilish look. It is actually by the canal and quite nice place to take a walk. I didn’t realize it is the red-light district up until I see there are 5 women in their bikinis behind the mirror of a shop.

I hissed to my mom, ‘mak, tu pelacur tu’ (mom, they are the prostitutes), and mom is surely surprised. That is totally not my proudest moment as a son – bringing my parents to see that. Haha. I thought it is kinda funny in a way.

I didn’t talk to my dad about it along the road but surely mom and dad talked about it. They are both

canal

laughing about it – as those prostitutes are actually are not that pretty, some are fat and pretty much not arousing (whoa, that’s a cruel way of telling, but ..)

I told Mahadi, ‘hey, I thought they are supposed to be pretty (and hot). The prostitutes’

Mahadi said, ‘No they are not’.

Ah, so much for my imagination.

[Pix: This is actually in the red light district. See.. kinda pretty innit. That's why I dun know that it is 'the place']

What About Now


2008
07.06

Last time Kak Nur keep asking me to try to sing ‘What About Now’ after she saw Daughtry’s video clip in Idol Gives Back episode on American Idol.

I told her, ‘no one done any of guitar version on Youtube so I don’t have the backing track’.

But I just found Guitartutee on Youtube doing the instrumental one. So here it goes:-

Eat!


2008
06.14

So I was feeling hungry. My dinner was at 7 something and now it is 12.16 am. I was hungry. Usually this time around in Penang, I’ll be visiting Subaidah or Khalil. Having some nasik lemak Subaidah or anythin in Khalil. Perhaps not much anymore if I’m in Malaysia, thinking that the price maybe over the top right now, but anyway, you got my point.

So it’s time for supper. People keep saying that I’m lucky. Coz I don’t have fat so it seems like I can eat as much as I can. However, some fat can keep me warm, but since I don’t have it, I was freezing myself a lil bit once I arrive in Bristol the other day. Abg Tra said that ‘it was not that bad’, but I didn’t think the same. Not saying that Abg Tra is fat. He lose his weight compare when he was in Malaysia. Perhaps it is not about fatty kind of thing at all. I was in Dundee, Mahadi was feeling fine about the weather, wearing just one layer of shirt, but I was the one feeling chilly. Wassup with my fellow friends? They kinda adapt to the weather easily, I suppose. And they know how to cook better than I do. Urgh..

Anyway, all of those paragraphs above were just a prologue. Here’s the story:-

I felt hungry and I went to the kitchen. But at 12 something in the morning, guess who I see cooking happily? My floormates – Linda and Memen, two chinese girl from China are cooking. I asked, ‘is it just two of you or other Chinese also cook this late at night?’

‘Yeah, I guess other Chinese also do it,’

‘So, it is safe to say that Asian just love to eat late at night eh?’ I said, thinking that my Pakistanis and Indians friends back in Brunel also having a late dinner. Coz it is so not British. When I was living with my English housemates back in London, they slept at 10 or 11, just about the time I’m having my fried chicken and chips. See how does it works?

Some people asked me, you ever think of marrying an English? Those are ‘for fun’ question, they don’t really mean it much. But next time I should answer, ‘it’s gonna be a troublesome coz as her bed time is my dinner time’. Suddenly an obscene question came out in my mind. Damn.