Something happened yesterday made me think.
Speculative statement of some people’s relationship although it may just be a tease, is up to no good.
I am usually placed in the receiving end of it. As in, people will speculate of who I am with. But I’m a rather sensitive guy who easily discomfort by this kind of tease and also a lot of other unimportant stuff. So I didn’t want to generalise it to everyone. A tease is a tease. Sometimes it meant to be a joke. Although I am not all ‘haha’ about it, what can I do? I am born and raised in this society where people care about what I do and who I am dating. I grew up in a society where the idea of being single is equivalent to a miserable life. So yes, I usually think that I am easily offended of a mere joke.
But when I observe this teasing happening to one dear friend from actually another dear friend as well, but still, the discomfort occurs, I simply conclude that the act of teasing (one having an affair with the other) is not something to be done at the very first place.
This whole thing is a tricky business. If I do something provocative or taking such a racy picture with a girl, it may trigger people to talk about it. In the very first place, one shouldn’t be doing something provocative that may cause fitnah. In that case, I am to be blamed. And well, one who talk about it can technically be blamed as well.
But on the other hand, something which is not really a bigger deal could still make certain people intrigued. Well, that’s what you got for watching too much drama (This is a mere provocative statement rather than supportive). For example:- our person in question may be in a group picture, or saying ‘hi’ on Facebook wall of the other person, or even retweet or @mention someone on Twitter, or just by mentioning an opposite gender name on a blog; might put an idea on some people’s head that one particular person is dating the other.
Try thinking about it, asking yourself if you have ever make such assumptions out of something very ordinary. I probably had. And shame on me for doing so.
Well… From a picture of what might be something, a wild mind is blossoming a creative thought that this particular guy may be dating this particular girl. Or these lad and lass looks so sweet together, they should be dating already. And a fruitful idea need to be shared (or else it will explode in one’s brain). Hence, one starts to gather around friends just to talk about it (kinda like what you see on Desperate Housewives, really).
Or tease about it. Or spread the news. Or predicts.
Should a good Muslim do these?
If one really fascinated by the idea, it would not be much trouble these days to just ask the people involved, asking if there is something going on between them.
If yes, there you go. You are not spreading lies. You are not making rumours. Probably pray for their journey to unification between two souls.
But then again, if the answer is no as in nothing actually happening between them, why would one who asked has so much doubt about it? We are talking about relationship for crying out loud. It does not work if it is one-sided. We may think that we have the best eyes to read between or beyond the line, and unlocking some mystery hidden beneath a facial expression and unearth the feeling inside the beating heart of the people involved. But at the end of the day, we might be wrong. As simple as that. We might be wrong.
And how much harm had we created if we are actually wrong, but we are still pushing the button? Even if our eagle eyes and our amazing sixth sense or magical premonition actually tell us the right thing that these two people are meant to be together, who gives us the right to go around and play with people’s feeling especially if these people are not asking for our help and specialty.
My point is simple. While speculative idea that two persons may be dating is such a delicious topic to be talked about, we ought to think about the boundary of our expression. A simple idea may create rumours and false accusation and fitnah depending on how we handle it. To feed the curiosity, just ask the people involved (in a private manner) and try to accept their reply even if your mind is ridiculing their statement. Or if you do not dare to ask such people, keep quiet and go read a book or something.
That’s my two cents.
P.S: In no way I am attacking my dear friend who sparks me idea to write this. And in no way I am attacking any individual. If any person feels like some statements are being directed at them, that’s just a coincidence. What had been written above is really a general statements, really.