It’s never enough

Wednesday, 3 of September, 2008 at 5:10 am

Selamat berpuasa.

I’m counting down the days. Mom and dad is going back to Malaysia next Monday. We’re going to London by train and sleep a nite there this Sunday.

People asked, what do I feel of my parents going home?

Kinda mixed, like I wrote before. I still remember when mom and dad were going back to Besout (dad’s work place in Felda) while I was left with my grandma, and aunts, and cousins, and cousins’ children. I was Standard 6 back then. Abah was going to retire in the middle of the year, so he wanted me to have a better focus for my UPSR, so I stayed with my late grandma for half a year before mak and abah moved to Kedah.

It is much easier to answer ‘what do you feel of my parents going home?’. Lol, it was always easier at that time of answering ‘how are you doing’ rather than now.

Oh, back then it is gonna be - ‘miserable’.

Now?

Hmm..

I prefer to say mixed feeling. Of course if I say that I feel mixed-up when people asking me ‘how are you doing’, then they will require further explanation which left me feeling annoyed.

When I was a little kid, it was all about me, especially when I am the youngest, so I don’t have to compete much.

Still nowadays, it is still about me; I won’t deny it. But when I grow mature (a friend won’t agree on this) and older and wiser (perhaps, I doubt it sometimes); I start to put things around me into consideration.

Like having my parents here for their own experience and repay a tiny bit of debts - which is a way of treating them.

But UK sucks badly - too cold, and hardly to get around especially in Durham where the bus costs a lot and the shop close at 5pm and tarawih in the mosque is too far away from home (yeah, I’ll be using this excuse for the next few weeks).

So, seeing them go home is kinda bad and good at the same time.

Bad for saying goodbye and having months to wait to see them again, InsyaAllah.

Good for knowing that they are going back to the land we called home where Bazar Ramadhan is deviating people from the essence of fasting and place for people to gain weight during the month of fasting. Damn, I was being sarcastic there.

But yeh, place where mosque isn’t too cold to get to, and fish is not in the fillet form. I feel kinda relief that in next few days, mom and dad will return to their old life which doesn’t sound posh like a trip to Scotland or Amsterdam, but cosy enough to live a happy life.

So next time you ask me of what do I feel of my parents going home?

I’ll be giving you some weird face of sad and fine, saying like ‘ok ja’, perhaps sounded like trying to be manly or something. You should know that I mean it cuz in my mind I’m thinking of everything regarding to this (like what I wrote on here) and some other non relating stuff (like High School Musical reality tv or the new season of One Tree Hill which I haven’t watch or etc - I get easily distracted).

Category: Durham

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