Aku keluar kelas awal sikit hari ni. Supervisor aku dah cakap, kalau tak rasa membantu, boleh pun kalau tak datang. Dia mengajar kuliah pendek untuk 2 minggu ni. Digital Imaging tajuknya. Awal-awal ada part 3D yang sangat membantu aku sebab aku kena deal dengan bebenda nih. Tapi sekarang dah masuk part-part image macam JPEG, camner grayscale works. Walaupun aku masih berminat, tapi otak aku melayang duk memikirkan assignment yang dia bagi.
Dia bagi aku satu tugasan. Esok nak kena bentang kat dia apa yang aku buat. Dah lama tak guna C++, sedikit lembab untuk pickup. Tapi dah okey.
Sebelum aku blah, aku bagitau dia, ‘Sir, I think that I’m gonna skip the next class’ (merujuk kepada kelas dia lepas rehat). Tapi dia terus cakap benda lain. Lebih kurang macam ni dia cakap, ‘Actually you don’t have to call me ’sir’, call me by my first name’.
Oh, the time has come. Aku ada juga menyelak-nyelak buku How To Get A PhD (Estelle M. Phillips) (thanks to Zakia for photocopying. Eh, saya tak bayar ek harga fotostat? Brapa ar?]. Buku tu sempat gak sebut bawah topik ‘Supervisor’ yang pelajar mengambil masa untuk memanggil penyelia mereka dengan nama pertama (to call their supervisor by his/her first name).
Aku pun menerangkan kat dia yang aku panggil ‘Sir’ disebabkan budaya kat Malaysia macam tu. Lebih kurang la. Dia pun tambah yang kat Greek pun, diorang menggunakan panggilan ‘Dr’, ‘Prof’ etc. Oooh. Dia tambah, tapi sejak dah sampai UK, kena la adaptasi sikit. Dia tak guna la perkataan ‘adaptasi’, lebih kurang camtu la dia cakap.
‘So you can call me just Ioannis’, dia cakap. (pronounced as ya-nis)
‘Okay, I will’, aku cakap sebelum berundur, ‘thank you, sir’. Ooops. I can’t change it easily, can I?
Bergambar itu hari waktu nak gi Bishop Auckland. Pathway on the way nak gi Durham City dan bilik kuliah dekat bangunan kat Elvet Hill.
Ini versi yang aku dengar waktu aku Darjah 6 dulu. Anak-anak sepupu aku Ili dan Ami menyanyi waktu tu.
So, jam sekarang 4.34 petang. Aku baru jer lepas mandi. Mari lihat aplikasi lagu ini dalam hidup aku untuk hari ini!
Bangun pagi
Bangun dalam pukul 11.50 pagi. Secara teknikalnya masih pagi, walaupun dah hampir tengah hari. Masih bangun pagi. [Ting, bunyi loceng kalau buat]
Gosok gigi
Semalam dah gosok gigi sebelum tido. Kumur dah cukup. [Tottt, bunyi buzzer sebab tak buat]
Cuci muka
Cuci muka tu tak merujuk pada penggunaan pencuci muka (facial foam) kan? [Ting]
Terus mandi
Baru jer mandi kejap tadi dalam pukul 4. Pagi tadi malas lak. Sejuk lak rasanya dan nak rush gi school. [Tottt]
Pakai baju
Pakai baju 2 lapis, ditambah dengan sweater kat luar. Sejuk woo.. [Ting ting ting!]
Minum kopi
Takde kopi kat kitchen. Malas bancuh air awal-awal pagi. Air kosong sudah cukup.. [Tottt]
Pergi Sekolah
Ting!
Senang hati
Tak mandi, tak gosok gigi, tak minum kopi, tapi masih senang hati [Ting ting ting ting!]
[Gambar orang senang hati. Kat padang depan Auckland Castle]
Kelmarin (Ahad) aku gi Bishop Auckland dengan Amirul. Ajak Kak Nur, Kak Nur taknak join, so kitorang berdua jer la yang gi pusing-pusing pekan Bishop Auckland tuh.
Aku buat video log, tapi voice tak brapa sync bagi sesetengah part. Anyway, here it is:-
I guess that I have to socialize. I am not self-contained. I always enjoy talking to people - with same brain (unfortunately it has its own limitation). Yesterday I talked through VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol, read: internet phone) for quite long.
I spent like 2-3 pound just for that. In 2 days I talked to my sister, Pidin, a short talk to Labu Besar students - Munirah, Aishah Fitrah and Shaq, via YM with Kak Khalidah, and webcamming with mom, dad, abang, Kak Siti and their sons, Mahadi as well. And Durham socializing with Amirul and Kak Nur. They kinda turn to recurrent character at the mo.
Kak Nur asked me, ‘Have you befriend with the locals?’
‘Unfortunately I haven’t!’, perhaps the longest chat with the local is with my flatmate - Andros. I asked him this afternoon, ‘How are you doing?’, yeah I kinda asked the question I hate people asked me. But he’s a Britons, so that’s is different (read: It is always right when I’m doing it,lol!)
But Andros then goes and explaining in detail of what’s going on. I guess I am Malaysian enough coz I paid attention of what he’s said (read: Malaysian love busy bodying people, right?).
I talked to my sister yesterday to congratulate her for her school winning the Puisi Lagu Kulim District Level. Celebrated a lil bit through telephone and then later she goes, ‘what’s up with the post?’ referring to Feeling Like Cursing post.
‘Naah, I’m going through some stuff’, and start to tell her about some real deal.
‘So, what if the people you are referring to kinda hurted (with the statement)?’ she went.
‘Er…,’ with some hesitation I continued, ‘honestly, I don’t even care!’. Oh my, I’m turning to who? It sounded selfish and self-absorbed (contradicting the earlier statement; I learnt from the best:>). ‘Naah, my friend is gonna be fine. They know who I am and how ugly I can become when I’m under stress,’ I told her confidently then babbling about some other things.
Oh yeah, last Friday was the first time I went for Friday prayer in Durham (coz last two Friday I was in London). There are LOADS of Malaysian here. I can just turnaround and see here and there and over there are Malaysian. But after the prayer ended, I was kinda ’sentap’ when a guy made an announcement in Arabic. I was like, ‘why? I thought I’m in UK?’. I guess lots of Arabs in Durham Uni. Don’t worry, next time I make an announcement after Friday prayer (which means never), I will make it in Bahasa Malaysia. But he then talked in English which is fine.
I still remembered when I went to a mosque in Uxbridge. As most of them are Pakistan or probably everyone of them except me are Pakistan, so the khutbah is also in …. er Pakistan language? Urdu? I dunno. Oh, at that time Brunel Uni students pray in university. I went there for some reasons I forgot
[Picture: We used a hall in Howlands Building (the one that contains gym and laundry room if you see my video in Ustinov post) for Friday prayer as the mosque in Durham is under refurbishment]
Baru jer selesai chat dengan family aku dan Mahadi. Diorang block webcam di MSN, Yahoo Messenger dan Skype. Kira asal nama IM jer, memang tak allow la. Bukan Durham jer, dulu Brunel University pun block gak. Aku pun tak faham kenapa, tapi probably untuk security kot, sebab bila kita allow webcam, connection dah jadi one to one, something like that la kot. Sebab remote computer pun kena block gak.
So, sebagai seorang budak Sains Komputer, oh, tak bagitau ek? Aku kat sini under Computer Science Department. Sebab bidang yang aku buat Computer Aided Geometrical Design / CAGD / Geometric Modelling/ Rekabentuk Geometri Berbantukan Komputer / RGBK ini merupakan tindanan kepada bidang-bidang Matematik, Sains Komputer dan juga Kejuruteraan. Maka, bagi setiap universiti, adakalanya di bawah Maths School, biasanya di bawah Sains Com, dan ada juga di bawah Engineering. So kat USM bawah Maths, kat sini bawah Sci Com, maka aku jadi Sci Com student la kat sini.
(Berdasarkan mumbling aku yang panjang lebar sebelum ini) Sebagai seorang budak Sains Komputer, maka terpaksalah aku mencari ‘loophole’ yang membolehkan aku menggunakan webcam. So, by try and error, aku dapat tahu la yang webcam berasaskan web melalui Java tak di blocked.
So, Mahadi pun online tadi, aku ajak la dia join sekali sembang dengan famili aku. Mahadi kawan sekampung, so diorang kenal sangat laaa Mahadi nih.
So, 3 way cam is a cool experience. Cuma suara jer slow sikit sebab server dia lembab tuh. Until next time.
BTW, korang bleh subscribe blog aku melalui email. Macam reminder friendster dulu tu laa. Kalo terasa nak subscribe, boh email, bila blog aku di updated, dia antar email la.
Hari ni sangat lancar.
Bangun pagi sakit tekak sikit. Aku dah mula berbolak balik samaada nak pergi jumpa supervisor untuk perjumpaan mingguan. Atau rehat kat bilik. Tapi disebabkan aku tahu yang aku tak patut layan sangat rasa malas ini, aku pun keluar gak.
I like my supervisor. Kalau dibandingkan dengan supervisor waktu Master dulu, dia sangat friendly dan juga takder high expectation ke atas aku. So, kira okey la. Walaupun dia punya pelat Greek (dia orang Greek) agak kuat, tapi disebabkan dulu waktu kat Brunel, banyak dah bercampur dengan orang-orang Eropah, so takde la janggal sangat.
Abis jumpa dia, aku terus amik bas ke pekan Durham, shopping barang yang patut beli semalam. Pusing bandingkan harga sabun basuh (the winner is Tesco sebab ada Persil), pisang (the winner is Waitrose sebab 81p perkg), bawang (the winner is Waitrose juga sebab bawang kat Tesco dan Iceland sangat besar), Danish bread (juga Waitrose yang paling murah, walaupun lebih mahal dari Tesco kat London). Dah jumpa fixatives (spray yang orang boh kat atas lukisan/karya seni lepas dah abis lukis supaya tak tanggal). Aku beli untuk spray atas DS supaya tandatangan Simple Plan atas DS aku tak tanggal. Jumpa jugak kaler rambut temporary yang bleh buang dengan air. Beli atas dasar curiousity. Conformla aku tak pakai kat sini dengan orang Malaysia yang bukan main ramai lagi. Tak pasal jer kena, ‘wah, datang UK jadi camni laa?’.
Balik-balik Durham, Kak Nur ajak keluar pekan lagi, sekali ngan Amirul. Alaa Kak Nur, baru jer balik dari pekan.
Tapi yang bestnya bila dalam kul 8.30 waktu perut aku dah mula mintak makanan, tetiba Kak Nur cakap yang sorang Malaysian jemput makan kat tempat dia. Ini sudah cukup bagus.
So, nih baru balik dari makan la nih. Tadi jumpa Putri, budak law Master kat sini under UiTM dan jugak Hairi, Malaysian Muslim Chinese. Okey laa. Dah bertambah kenalan Malaysia kat sini. Tapi kenalan UK tak bertambah. Takleh jadi nih.
Anyway, budak debat Durham dah balas email aku. Aku antar tanya fasal debate society. Saja nak join-join. Sekali dia cakap, semua pelajar (baca: bukan undergrad sahaja ek) boleh join, dan kalo bagus boleh masuk pertandingan.
Wah, ini sudah bagus. Walaupun English aku ntah ke mana, sembang fasal DH/AI/TAR/UB aku tau la, tapi kira okey laa. But I don’t wanna expect too much out of it. Lain budaya, mana la tahu, ye tak?
[Gambar: Makan dekat dapur Putri. Putar ikut arah jam dari baju merah: Hairi, Kak Nur, Amirul dan Putri]
I kinda feeling bad for throwing my tantrum on the blog. Cursing everyone is not like me at all (Well, I did it with my friends but not to open public like this). I guess, the bad thing about being alone is I don’t have anyone around me to express my anger. I will ended up living alone with that kind of attitude. Perhaps I should try to get rich and marry a gold digger. Well, that was me trying to make a joke.
1.43 am in Durham (UK actually) and I have sort of feeling like I don’t wanna sleep. I had a fever after recording those video. After talked to my parents at 12.00am, it was getting better. I remembered my Standard 6 teacher, Cikgu Latifah Hussain used to call me ‘not getting enough of vitamin-K’. As K was referred to ‘kasih sayang’. Well, I did have a fever once a month back then in my UPSR year when I lived for 6 months with my late grandma (including aunt, cousins etc).
I’m gonna take my rest soon. Got a class tomorrow morning at 9.30.
My body feel much better already. I just wanna have a sweet dream…
Sorry for such negativity. Agak letih semalam. Hari ni plak tak berapa sedap badan. Tak demam, cuma tekak rasa tak sedap, dan lidah macam burning. Mungkin sebab minum air coklat panas kat stesen keretapi Durham semalam. Cuaca sangat sejuk, air agak panas, jadi macam dalam cerita Fantastic Four yang diorang bekukan orang jahat tu dan kemudian bakar dia. Eh, ke diorang bakar dia pastu simbah dengan air? Entah.
Bilik aku semakin sempit. Barang-barang dari dalam beg masih lagi belum dikeluarkan. Mana taknya, sejak sampai sini, asal weekend jer aku takde kat bilik. Tak amik masa untuk kemas-kemas lagi. But for people who knows me, I’m not used to tidy up my room anyway.
Memula cadangnya nak gi school hari ni. Tapi sedar-sedar jer dah pukul 11. Aku rasa lepas last time aku turn off alarm, waktu tu baru kul 9. Cepat sangat masa 2 jam tu berlalu.
Semalam dah beli barang-barang makanan untuk stok 2-3 hari ke seminggu. Seperti kebiasaannya, aku akan tulis menu harian supaya aku tahu nak makan apa hari ini. Biasanya tulis kat atas kertas jer. Tapi this time, I share it to the so-called world.
Hari
Sarapan
Tengah hari
Malam
To Do list
Selasa
Cereal
Ayam Bakar, salad
Roti telur*^
Rabu
Cereal
Fillet ikan & Garlic bread
Maggi goreng*
Beli bawang, serbuk pencuci, kertas A4
Khamis
Cereal
Roti ngan kebab
Udang masak pedas**^
Basuh baju
*Makanan berasaskan telur perlu sebab telur tu dah nak expired
** Udang beli ngan Mahadi hari tu tak abis lagi
^Penggunaan tomato sebab beli tomato semalamKuning: Makanan jenis
senang disediakan, dan tak perlu basuh pinggan banyak-banyak
Hijau: Makanan jenis
bakar dala oven/microwave dan tinggal. Tahap kesukaran sederhana.
Merah: Makanan yang
agak ‘renyah’. Kena potong bawang, kena tunggu depan dapur. Past
baru boleh makan [sigh]
I’m in a bad mood and windy today. Sorry for that.
Sorry to Ainor for stopping suddenly from the chat. I was dreadful and I needed some sleep.
Sorry to Zaim for not replying. I didn’t know where to start.
Sorry to Ili for not being able to talk to you. Pak Tam wish you all the best for your exam.
Anyone else I should say sorry about? Finish?
Here come the cursing part.
I hate ‘how are you?’
I just hate people asked me that. And I hate people who know me hating that doing that just for the sake of teasing me. Life is pretty much the same here. I said I was fine and some of you just love to drag around the issue until I admit my defeat. I was doing good and take my word for it. Even if I am doing bad, I might not wanna share with some of you coz it’s contradicting my ego. Got it? I’m all alone here, I’m fine; so stop tweaking me with the issue.
I hate people calling me with ‘…’
‘Am’ and ‘Am…’ has a huge difference! Greeting me with ‘Am’ or ‘Am!’ is like calling me in usual manner. Calling ‘Am…’ is like calling with slow-toned-bermanja kind of mood. I allow it to some, but not to some others. So if you feel like you are not bermanja-ing with me, call me just ‘Am’ without the dots. Otherwise I just hate it.
I hate people provoking me of my relationship status
Young and old, talking stuff to me like ‘I saw you with the your girl the other day’ is annoying. The same with ‘uuh, sms-ing your girlfriend eh?’. If you wanna flirt, just go on straight forward. Rather than keep asking me of how I’m doing every now and then, making me feel guilty for being rude of not answering. It is easier to say ‘no’ to a relationship then saying ‘I’m fine, thank you’.
I hate people who curse my taste
I have a bad taste of music and tv show. I always know that. So what? I am still cooler than you coz I have a wider range - whether it is High School Musical, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears or the one you think cool like Nickelback, Boys Like Girls or some rock stuff. Don’t ever think that you are all good because you just like 1 lame genre.
I hate people who made me feel down of myself
I admit, I am no good. But you don’t have to make me feel like a fool for not being able to tell what is my direction of this and that. Of life or my PhD. I have it, but I may not be a good speaker in that term. Just because I used to be a university debater, it doesn’t mean that I can talk almost everything. I never ask you to bow down to the Master, so you don’t have to feel that way and show your superiority.
That’s about it. I said it all.
Showing my vulnerability is not so cool. But just so you know, I have my ups and down. I rather having people liking me for my high and low rather than sugar-coated version of me.
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